Saturday, December 22, 2007

Things you can do without children in the house

1. Crank up the stereo on Saturday night and dance like disco freaks until 2 am (what we did on my birthday weekend)
2. Go away on a 2 week Spanish holiday without ANY guilt (except of the financial kind, but I figure we've done frugal to death by this point), which is our plan sometime this winter
3. Completely skip Christmas because you can't be bothered...

Number 3 is a bit of a sticking point, actually. Normally, I wouldn't mind being bothered -- last year I finally got over being too grieved to decorate -- but this year, I have not had the energy to dig out the boxes of lights and garlands, never mind actually hang them up. And since we got 2 feet of snow before we had a chance to get the outdoor lights up, that is just not happening (though, we're not the only one with that score -- the whole neighbourhood is decidedly less lit up this year). So, 3 days before the "big day", I have not put up a single decoration, baked a single Christmas cookie or wrapped a single present. Luckily, I'm off the hook for presents, as we're not going down to Boston with my family. We have to WORK next week, which really kind of stinks. (Mind you, as devastated as I was when I realised that we'd be spending another holiday "à deux", now it's seeming like a very civilised option.)

The lack of energy/holiday spirit is partly down to craziness at work, partly down to major melancholy. Christmas is a very child-oriented holiday and it is hard not to feel bitter and sad about everything we're missing out on. So, having an undecorated house, with no tree and no presents seems fitting in a household that won't be visited by Santa Claus any time soon.

I will have to get my act together at some point, since we're having a party next Saturday (for "New Year's Eve Eve Eve"). I'll decorate post-hoc -- much less stress!

Happy Holidays everyone -- if they can't be truly joyous, I hope they are at least peaceful. Thinking of all the little ones who are especially missed at this time of year...

:: posted by Ann Howell, 3:40 PM | link | 4 comments |

Thursday, December 06, 2007

"....and you smell like one, tooooooo!"

For anyone who was ever a child, you may recognize the title of this post as the last line of the Happy Birthday song, as sung by 7-year-olds. Yes, I've come out of hibernation, just in time for my birthday! Pretty cheesy of me, I realise, but I've been known to cheese.

On this morning of my 39th year (2 years to the big 4-0, woo-hoo!), I was a bit disheartened to find this headline at the top of Google news: "Romney's defining moment: How faith informs him". God help us...

This year, I am thankful for many things... among them: my health, my strengthened relationship with my husband, my parents and friends, my job (financial stability is very cool!), my hope for the future and appreciation for the present. This year is all about letting go of resentment and frustration (as much as possible, anyway), and embracing curiosity and wonder. Helping where I can and accepting help when I need to. Forgiving those who have let me down (including myself). Boldly going where no woman has gone before, etc.

It is beautiful here today -- a fresh layer of snow, bright sunshine. I'm going out for the evening with friends to enjoy beer and curry. I miss Lydia like the dickens, but that will always be the case and I accept that (sort of). I will love and laugh despite that persistent sorrow of the soul. Happy birthday to me!
:: posted by Ann Howell, 7:03 AM | link | 7 comments |