Ex-pat American currently in London, married to a Brit, trying desperately to keep a sense of humour while weathering some pretty big shit-storms. My heart was broken when my first child was stillborn in June 2004. 18 months later, right after my 36th birthday, I went into premature menopause, thus ending my dreams for having more children of my own. The grief of the loss of my daughter is always with me, but so are the hopes and dreams that she brought to my life. The latter keeps me going.