Friday, March 02, 2007
And why does this make me melancholy? Obvious reasons, I guess. I took a walk down to the corner store earlier and passed house after house with kids playing outside, fathers and sons clearing driveways, mums helping build snowmen... and I imagine in many of the other houses families were inside playing games in front of a fire or baking cookies or watching their favourite movies together. And I ache with the desire to have a part of that. I miss Lydia so much and I'm sad for all of the special days like this that I'll never get to experience with her. No matter how much I fill my life up with other things, that hole will always be there.
Oh, I think I need to go make a nice, warm batch of chocolate chip cookies. It may be a temporary fix, but I'll take what I can get at this point!
Of couse, they still keep me up at night, but in an entirely different way. I would give almost anything, if I could hear them crying and take them in my arms.
Thinking of you.