Thursday, February 15, 2007
Birth certificates for stillborn babies
There was a great piece on NPR yesterday about a movement to get legislation to issue birth certificates for stillborn babies (it was one of those "driveway moments" where I sat in the car listening until the end). It was especially poignant as I knew the subject of the piece, a woman who lost her daughter right around when we lost ours. We "met" on a support message board and went through the initial stages of grief together (along with the rest of the sad, crazy group!), right through the first year. You can find out more about Liz and her efforts from the first link under the sidebar header "When you need a hug..." (A Small Victory)
You can also listen to the NPR piece here: http://www.npr.org/templates/story/story.php?storyId=7407248
You can also listen to the NPR piece here: http://www.npr.org/templates/story/story.php?storyId=7407248
Labels: birth certificates, stillborn babies
:: posted by Ann Howell, 9:17 PM
6 Comments:
Thanks for linking to this, I never would have known otherwise. Nice hearing Liz's voice, I got choked up when she did. I'm so proud to know her!
Liz has really had a lot of media attention lately. I'm proud to know her too. Actually I'm proud to know all of us. A crazy group indeed.
Zarqa and Susan -- so great to see you guys! The last of the "old guard"... I am proud of all of us, too. It's amazing that we made it through such an horrific experience. But being able to share and vent with all of you made it bearable. I wish we all lived closer so that we could have a reunion! (Like WWII vets, lol)
And Zarqa -- your last comment intrigued me! Thinking positive thoughts for you, whatever good thing it is that you have in the works!
And Zarqa -- your last comment intrigued me! Thinking positive thoughts for you, whatever good thing it is that you have in the works!
I'm undoubtedly being massively dense and insensitive and someone will explain this to me and it will all make sense.
But please help me out here. I'm just having trouble understanding why anyone would *want* a birth certificate for a stillborn child.
One of my twins was stillborn, the other was born alive, but only lived for a few hours. The trip to city hall to get birth and death certificates for the twin that had been born alive was excruiating. I stood in line behind a series of happy, proud parents (many of them with babies in arms), all waiting to collect their birth certificates.
When I reached the head of the line, until I had repeated myself several times, dissolving slowly into tears, I simply could not get the clerk to understand why I needed both a birth and a death certificate for my child.
And when I was finally finished, clutching the official paperwork in hand, all I could think was how lucky I had been that the other twin had been stillborn, so I didn't have to go through the immensely painful process a second time.
But please help me out here. I'm just having trouble understanding why anyone would *want* a birth certificate for a stillborn child.
One of my twins was stillborn, the other was born alive, but only lived for a few hours. The trip to city hall to get birth and death certificates for the twin that had been born alive was excruiating. I stood in line behind a series of happy, proud parents (many of them with babies in arms), all waiting to collect their birth certificates.
When I reached the head of the line, until I had repeated myself several times, dissolving slowly into tears, I simply could not get the clerk to understand why I needed both a birth and a death certificate for my child.
And when I was finally finished, clutching the official paperwork in hand, all I could think was how lucky I had been that the other twin had been stillborn, so I didn't have to go through the immensely painful process a second time.
Niobe -- I can completely understand your perspective. The only thing I can offer is that for parents of stillborns, having something official with their baby's name on it might be comforting. We walk out of the hospital with empty arms, and often with no official record that our baby even existed. Just seeing the name on a certificate can mean a lot... it's proof of our baby's existence.
All that being said, I have recently learned that my province does indeed issue birth certificates for stillborn babies, which means that somewhere in some bureaucratic filing cabinet is a piece of paper with Lydia's name on it. And despite my previous desire to have something tangible with her name on it, I am not sure that I will jump through the hoops necessary to get a copy. As you explained, it could be a very trying experience and I'm not sure if I want to go through all of that. But it is comforting to know that it's there...
All that being said, I have recently learned that my province does indeed issue birth certificates for stillborn babies, which means that somewhere in some bureaucratic filing cabinet is a piece of paper with Lydia's name on it. And despite my previous desire to have something tangible with her name on it, I am not sure that I will jump through the hoops necessary to get a copy. As you explained, it could be a very trying experience and I'm not sure if I want to go through all of that. But it is comforting to know that it's there...
Niobe- So sorry to hear of your losses. I wonder- why didn't you mail in your request for the birth/death certificates. You can do that you know. I can imagine it would be very difficult to stand in line with other parents.
I am a bit offput by your question which seems rhetorical- You don't have to understand. You need respect from others to have your viewpoint. You just have to afford others the right to have their own.
Good job Ms Allen. As the mom of a stillborn baby (at 41.2 weeks) and the mom of a young child who died (3 years old, sarcoma specific), I can attest that I wanted BOTH my children's birth certificates. It meant so much to me.
I am a bit offput by your question which seems rhetorical- You don't have to understand. You need respect from others to have your viewpoint. You just have to afford others the right to have their own.
Good job Ms Allen. As the mom of a stillborn baby (at 41.2 weeks) and the mom of a young child who died (3 years old, sarcoma specific), I can attest that I wanted BOTH my children's birth certificates. It meant so much to me.
