Yesterday was the due date for my brother and SIL's baby, so why was I not surprised to get a message from my mother saying the baby had indeed arrived. Because in perfect pregnancy land all babies arrive on their due dates, dontcha know. Heavy sigh. I really do want to be happy about this news, but I just can't seem to raise any real enthusiasm. It doesn't help that they had a little girl (Sophia Ann -- I guess I should feel honored) -- I was really hoping that they'd have a boy. It is going to kill me to have to watch their perfectly healthy little girl going through all of her amazing baby rites of passage. It's so frustrating to feel so apart from all of this! I should be right in there doing the doting aunt routine.

K. and I ended up having more than a few drinks last night in consolation (and we seemed to have forgotten to eat supper, so getting up this morning was not very pleasant!). Oddly enough, he did most of the crying. Although it's comforting to see him being so emotionally open about Lydia, it's also a little scary. I ended up retelling Lydia's birth story in gory detail, while he listened and wept. It was cathartic and I think it did help bring us closer, but it was also very draining. Tonight I just feel like ordering pizza and watching some vapid sci-fi. And I think that's probably just what we'll do!

Anyway, I'm still trying to digest the arrival of Sophia. Ironically, she may never have any cousins, as her mom is an only child and the rest of us seem unlikely to procreate (we've got one gay brother and an AWOL sister). I guess there are worse fates in life...

Insult to injury. I'm sorry.

((((((((HUGS)))))))) It's horrible how the happiest things are now so painful - and how it's almost impossible for that not to be the case. I wish it wasn't this way. I'm so, so sorry.

(((((((hugs)))))))) I wish it wasn't this way. Sending you lots of strength!

I'm so very sorry. It doesn't end, does it?

I know that has to be hard. {{{hugs}}}

Sorry I'm late on this, but many (((hugs))) nonetheless.