On the way home from driving my husband to the office this morning, I started thinking about how we're not spending Easter with my family this year. We missed Thanksgiving and Christmas with them, too, so it's hard to let another holiday pass apart from them. But my husband and I both have to work and things are still rather fragile between us, so we're not quite ready for a family gathering yet. Then it occurred to me that we'd get to go the Easter service at my new church (well, it will be sort of "Easter-lite", since it's not really a Christian church), which would at least be something positive. This led to thinking about what I would wear (since I usually wear a lot of black, I'm going to have to dig out a wedding-guest dress from the back of the closet), which led to thinking about what I would have dressed Lydia in if she were here. A frilly dress with lots of flowers and lace, no doubt. And this made me start sobbing, right in the middle of traffic. I want her here so much sometimes it hurts...

On the Nelson-the-dog front, I contacted every no-kill shelter in the area and they're all full. I've put the word out to everyone that I can think of and no one will take him. If I can't find another home for him this week, I'm going to have no choice but to take him to the pound. He is too strong and aggressive for me and I worry all the time that he will get away from me and do somebody harm. I will miss him, but he really has to go. The people who had him before us were about to take him to the pound themselves, so if anything he's had a few extra, happy months on this planet. And who knows, maybe by some miracle he'll find new owners before it's too late.

And on that happy note, I'm off to read for a while and get an early night. I spent a couple of hours in the garden today and I feel pleasantly tired. Hopefully a good night's sleep awaits...

Please email me with a way to contact you. I will see if I can find some place to take Nelson. Please do not take him to a shelter until we at least try. He deserves better.

Sorry...my email is Kate94651@hotmail.com

Would haves are so painful. I'm sorry you're hurting.