Monday, August 22, 2005
Stretching the muscles
Mea culpa again for the gap in posts. I realise that I'm writing this blog solely for myself, but it's supposed to help me stretch my creative and expressive muscles, so not posting for two weeks feels the same as not exercising for two weeks. Ironically, I have been working out fairly regularly, so I need to apply that same committment to writing.
Last week I was in Massachusetts visiting my parents (somewhat explaining the recent dearth of posts), which turned out to be very rejuvinating. My husband spent a couple of those days chopping wood with my dad -- a very "back-to-nature" bonding experience. They didn't exactly bang drums and howl at the moon, but my dad was grateful for the help and impressed that DH was capable of such an extended period of manual labour. DH was just impressed that he managed not to permanently injure himself.
I got to breathe country air for a few days and have some heart-to-hearts with my mom. A lot of our conversations were about future plans and my desire to have another child. My mom's recurring theme was not to dwell on it and let nature take its course. "One day you'll realise that you've missed a couple of cycles and you'll know what's happened!" I know she was just trying to be optimistic, but I couldn't make her understand that I'll never be able to be that oblivious about my cycles again. It's ironic, too, because my mother was never able to have children (we're all adopted in my family) and she herself was an infertility guinea pig for a couple of years in the late 60s. She went through seven painful uterine biopsies before finally making the decision to adopt. Was she so oblivious to her cycles then? I guess she's just trying to spare me all of that distress and she must figure that since we have conceived naturally on our own already that we should be able to do it again. On some level I agree with her, but on another I want some answers as to why my cycles are now ridiculously irregular and why after 14 months of unprotected sex we have yet to conceive. Maybe as with the loss of the baby there just are no answers. That being said, I'm trying to get an appointment with my OB/GYN to see what he says.
Anyway, I've got to get some work done today. With any luck, I'll be able to write a more interesting post later. My "creative and expressive muscles" are just getting warmed up...
Last week I was in Massachusetts visiting my parents (somewhat explaining the recent dearth of posts), which turned out to be very rejuvinating. My husband spent a couple of those days chopping wood with my dad -- a very "back-to-nature" bonding experience. They didn't exactly bang drums and howl at the moon, but my dad was grateful for the help and impressed that DH was capable of such an extended period of manual labour. DH was just impressed that he managed not to permanently injure himself.
I got to breathe country air for a few days and have some heart-to-hearts with my mom. A lot of our conversations were about future plans and my desire to have another child. My mom's recurring theme was not to dwell on it and let nature take its course. "One day you'll realise that you've missed a couple of cycles and you'll know what's happened!" I know she was just trying to be optimistic, but I couldn't make her understand that I'll never be able to be that oblivious about my cycles again. It's ironic, too, because my mother was never able to have children (we're all adopted in my family) and she herself was an infertility guinea pig for a couple of years in the late 60s. She went through seven painful uterine biopsies before finally making the decision to adopt. Was she so oblivious to her cycles then? I guess she's just trying to spare me all of that distress and she must figure that since we have conceived naturally on our own already that we should be able to do it again. On some level I agree with her, but on another I want some answers as to why my cycles are now ridiculously irregular and why after 14 months of unprotected sex we have yet to conceive. Maybe as with the loss of the baby there just are no answers. That being said, I'm trying to get an appointment with my OB/GYN to see what he says.
Anyway, I've got to get some work done today. With any luck, I'll be able to write a more interesting post later. My "creative and expressive muscles" are just getting warmed up...
:: posted by Ann Howell, 11:34 AM
2 Comments:
The fresh country air sounds nice. (Laughed out loud at your DH being proud that he didn't hurt himself.) I don't really know what to say about your mom. But I finally read my copy of Taking Charge of Your Fertility and it seems there is an old school of thought that says you should just close your eyes, cross your fingers, and hope for the best. I, however, have been spoiled by the technological era...I want information and answers. I hope your OB is able to help you out. If not...find a new one. 14 months is long enough to just keep wishing.
I'm glad you're back! Happy posting!
I'm glad you're back! Happy posting!
i find it hearbreaking that my mom loves me so much and tries so hard to support me and says the stupidest, least encouraging, most cliched things possible. there's no accounting for it.
moms - you do your best to raise them right, but sometimes they still disappoint you.
moms - you do your best to raise them right, but sometimes they still disappoint you.
